Bathroom

bathroom

Remember that old saying, “One man’s trash is another man’s treasure”, well that couldn’t be any truer than in the genre of horror. Films like “Citizen Kane”, “The Godfather”, and “Ace Venture: Pet Detective” are universally recognized by most semi-intelligent life forms as being classics. This plateau can also be reached in horror and IMHO those films are highlighted in The Vault. But what about those films that fall a notch or two below these classics, shouldn’t they be recognized and recommended. I think so, and that is why I am adding The Bathroom to the House of Horrors.

You will either love or hate the films found here. There is no middle ground with these gems. Here you will find other people’s stink, but The Bathroom is more about taste than smell. We that have some and you who don’t (just kidding). In my opinion, these films are all great in their own little way. They may be gory, or funny, or totally off the wall, but all of them have thoroughly entertained me.


I am proud to have each and every one of them in either my laserdisc or video collection. Be warned, these are not classics, but still worthy of mentioning. So sit back with your favorite beverage and whatever else you need, and enjoy!!!!!

As always please e-mail me if you have anything you can add to this page, or if you have any comments, criticisms or suggestion.

Child’s Play

Child's PlayThe movie begins as the police are chasing after known “Lakeshore Strangler”…Charles Lee Ray (Brad Dourif). As the lead flies, Ray is mortally wounded and head off into a toy store to die. But not so fast, seems Charles has some unfinished business to take care of and with the help of a little voodoo he transfers his soul into Chucky, a “Good Guys” doll.


As the story continues, we meet Andy (Alex Vincent), a real “good guys” fanatic. I mean he wears the pajamas, watches the cartoon, and even eats the cereal. It is enough to make you sick in this day of commercialization of childhood fun. So it seems it’s Andy’s 6th birthday and he has his eye on getting the one thing he doesn’t have…a “good guys” doll. After seeing the disappointment in her son’s eyes, Karen Barclay (Catherine Hicks) buys her son a doll from a street peddler. Wonder what crazed serial killer inhabits this body of plastic???

Andy is so happy to get a new friend, but little does he know what lies ahead of him as Chucky begins to hack his way through every grown-up that gets in his way, as he tries to transfer his soul into the first human he revealed his true identity to…Andy. The suspense builds as Andy is blamed for the deaths because no one will believe him. The ending is very cool as this killer hones in on his ultimate freedom. One way or the other, he’s getting out…or is??? Rent the film, but skip the sequels unless you are a masochist like me.

Wow, this film is a lot better than I originally remembered. Maybe my opinion on this film was soiled by its’ follow-up sequels. Both “Child’s Play 2” and “3” were terrible, but I kind of dug “Bride of Chucky” in this day of “Scream-esqe” tainted horror films.

As a stand-alone movie, “Child’s Play” is as good as they come. Although it is not quite good enough to warrant placement in The Vault that doesn’t mean it should be overlooked for it value to the genre, thus it residence here in The Bathroom. It was directed by Tom Holland, who also brought us “Fright Night”.

The puppeteers were well ahead of their time when this film was made. We are also lucky that Barney and Teletubbies weren’t popular when the first “Child’s Play” was made. Could you imagine a little murderous purple dinosaur??? Although, Chucky didn’t get lucky…we horror fans did when they decided to make “Child’s Play“.

Child’s Play Fan Speak

Name: Marcus Schad

Email: m_schad2hotmail.com

Fanspeak: Whatever you say, child’s play is one of the greatest movies through time! That includes the second and third movie! The second is the funniest and coolest! I mean, where else can you see a cute little doll swear and give you the finger! And the ending in the doll factory is awesome! Well, I just wanted to spill my guts a little, Bye!

Chucky

Bad Taste

Bad TasteWell, it seems everyone in a little coastal village in New Zealand has disappeared. “The Bastards have Landed“. So the Queen Mum sends out a call for the boys, A.I.D.S. (The Astral Investigation and Defense Service), to help save the day. This elite fighting unit has taken on the duty to protect the Earth (and the Moon) from alien attack and serve as our last line of defense against the evil invaders from Nalic Nod. These invaders, lead by Lord Crump, have stumbled upon the newest delicacy in the universe… humans meat pies. We are the big mac of their “fast food”.

Join Derek (Peter Jackson), Ozzy, Frank, and Barry as they do battle with these extra-terrestrials to save the world in this laugh a minute gore-fest. Great low-budget effects were done by Peter Jackson himself. This is the one that started it all for Peter Jackson. This film almost reaches the lofty plains of exquisite execution found in the first features of Romero and Raimi.

Hopefully, if anyone (Please listen to Don May, Synapse Film) were to do a special edition of this on laserdisc or DVD, they should include a great documentary I saw on the “making of Bad Taste” (available from Blackest Heart as part of the Peter Jackson collection).

Bad Taste Fanspeak

Name: The Galloping Gorehound

Fanspeak:  Possibly the last word in splatter has to be Peter Jackson’s 1988 opus Bad Taste. Any film which features vomit drinking, the top of a guy’s head blasted off – leaving his chin and jaw intact, and someone getting cut IN HALF by a chainsaw has to rule.

The Video Dead

The Video DeadWhoever said that “TV kills” couldn’t be more on target than with this movie. A TV is mistakenly delivered to the house of a writer. Wow, a free TV!!!! I’d be happy too, but this is no ordinary TV. It only plays a zombies movie called, “Zombie Bloody Nightmare”. That’s even better, but not in this case. It seems that these zombies from TV land are dying to get out into the real world.

A teenage brother and sister (Rocky Duvall and Roxanna Augesen) move into their new family home while their parents are away. Hey, a new TV…oh no, but it is too late the zombies are already out and about to reek terror. As a sexy blonde (from inside the TV) tries to seduce the boy, the “garbage man” arrives on the screen kills the bimbo and warns the boy about the zombies.

As all hell begins to break loose, a Texas cowboy (Sam McClelland) arrives on the scene to do battle with the walking dead from some bad b-movie. Let kill us some zombies. Using a bow and arrows (not your normal zombie killing weapon, but the whole secret here is “convincing” the zombies that they are dead), and chainsaw the carnage begins. The low-budget effects are extremely effective. The zombies are cool. The storyline is pretty solid and entertaining. This is an awesome zombie that hardly anyway really know about. If you love zombies, you must search out this title.

The Video Dead Fanspeak

Name: Anthony JoeJoe

Email:  [email protected]

The Video Dead Fan Speak: I consider myself very lucky to have seen this movie on video. When I was little, I remember constantly watching cheesy horror movies with my older brother very late at night. Whether it was on cable or video, we saw a lot of great horror pictures whose titles I completely forgot about!!

The Video Dead was one of them. The webmaster was right, the thing that makes this movie work is the cheesy effects. It didn’t try to be a classic zombie movie, it knew what kind of a film it was so the makers obviously had fun with it.

If you rent this movie, don’t expect a Romero ‘like a zombie film. Just rent it, and have fun!

Anthony

Slugs

SlugsGet the salt….it is our only defense!!!!! Just another cause of mother nature striking back against a man for his destruction of the environment. She even uses his own tools of destruction (toxic waste) to cause these slugs to grow into giant carnivores man-eaters.

Mike Brady (Michael Garfield), no not Mr. Brady, the local health inspector begins investigating some strange deaths in the little town of Ashton. Through his investigation, he finds out that Ashton has been built on a closed down toxic waste dump. With no help from the skeptical authorities, Brady heads down into the sewers for the ultimate battle with these slimy bastards and save the world from becoming slug wasteland.

One of the coolest scenes occurs with a young couple is attacked in their bedroom and the slugs eat their skin off. An awesome effect!!!!! Great effects, horrible acting, but still an entertaining film.

Slug Fanspeak

Name: Kelli

Email: [email protected]

Fanspeak: Wow. What a wonderfully horrible film. The bad acting and mediocre effects only make it more enjoyable and hilarious. I actually found myself side-stepping a slug on the side walk and giving it a dirty look!

Killer Klowns from Outer Space

Killer Klowns from Outer SpaceThe story begins when a comet crashes outside of town, but when people go out to investigate this phenomena they only find a circus tent. Great the circus is back in town…. wrong!!! This is no ordinary circus. You won’t find any elephant rides, flying ladies on trapeze, or cotton candy, well not the kind you are accustomed to. Just a bunch of cannibalistic alien freaks (see Bad Taste above) disguised as clowns stocking up their fridge.

Watch out as the cotton candy and popcorn flies. Your favorite treats will kill you fast them you can say “circus midgets”. These Bozo wannabes will bag you up in a cocoon and take you home to momma for a late night snack. The Klown make-up was very well done and added greatly to the atmosphere of the film.

Beckoning back to the sci-fi/horror classic of the 50’s comes “Killer Klowns from Outer Space“. The success of this film lies in it balance between sci-fi, horror, and gut-wrenching comedy. Although this film was very comical, it had some really dark moments (i.e. the police dummy) Beware of the circus, but get this movie. You will love it.

Killer Klowns from Outer Space Fanspeak

Name: Ash-Myers

Email:  [email protected]

Fanspeak:  T4: Killer Klows has got to be one of the greatest movies ever made. It is not only a very intelligent spoof of 1950’s sci-fi/horror cheese fests but it is also the perfect blend of horror, comedy, and sci-fi. I mean, the very idea of outer-space knows is hilarious, much less a movie. But the director balances
everything quite well, creating helluva an interesting and entertaining film.

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