The Cave (2005)

DVD Release Date: January 3rd, 2006
97 min
Starring: Cole Hauser, Morris Chestnut, Eddie Cibrian
Directed by: Walter Salles

Rated PG-13 for intense creature violence

There are places man was never meant to go.  Like to the movies, to see The Cave.  This $30 million effort made a meager $15 million in the US box office.  With horror films attracting healthy turn-outs lately, why the lack of support?  Well word got out fast that this wasn't up to par.  Credit must be given to the set designers, as many of the cave scenes were from a soundstage built for the movie.  Otherwise, expect weak acting, and a bland, over-used "alien" type story presented under PG-13 restrictions.  Adults may want to pass - this is in my opinion for a younger audience who hasn't seen it all before.  Click here to purchase it from Amazon.com in its fullscreen edition

  Green River Killer (2006)

DVD Release Date: January 3rd, 2006
unk min
Starring: George Kiseleff, Jacquelyn Horrell, Georgina Donovan
Directed by: Ulli Lommel 

Rated R for strong violence, grisly images, sexuality/nudity and language

28 years.  40 victims.  No remorse.  I have not seen this, but the story of the Green River Killer is a true one that was recently solved.  If it goes anything by the true accounts, you'll witness the tale of one of America's most brutal and notorious serial killers.  Gary L. Ridgway stalked the Washington area, around Seattle, killing woman after woman.  This film has been widely promoted as being directed by "horror master!!!???" Ulli Lommel - the man who brought you "Boogeyman" - someone in publishing should get a clue.  Boogeyman was about the worst modern horror film most people have ever witnessed and had no effect on anyone but the kids.  Psyched until I saw who directed it.  Click here to purchase it from Amazon.com

  Tears of Kali (2004)

DVD Release Date: January 3rd, 2006
unk min
Starring: Pietro Martellanza, Anja Gebel, Magdalena Ritter
Directed by: Andreas Marschall

Rated NR

This horror film is from Germany, and has won several festival awards worldwide.  It is actually a trio of films within one.  I haven't seen it, but IMDB reports the plot to be based on the  eerie stories around the Taylor-Eriksson group and their members. This group tried to re-define the limits of self-finding, sex and violence. Starting as a psychological cat-and-mouse-game, the story soon turns into pure horror.  Expect 80's style, Italian horror violence, like flesh being completely ripped from bones.  Nudity, gore, and good performances - this sounds like a good watch.  Click here to purchase it from Amazon.com

Richard Simmons - Supersweatin Party off the Pounds

DVD Release Date: January 3rd, 2006
unk min
Starring: Richard Simmons
Directed by: I already know too much

Rated NC-99 for shiny thighs, short shorts, and confusing behavior

Run for your lives.  This should be rated NC-99 - nobody under a hundred years old should see such abominable images.  Warning!  If you watch these Richard Simmons DVDs, your eyes will burn - you will be haunted by nightmares for months on end - waking up in your winter closet, as dressed as you can possibly be, quivering, "No Richard, no...."  Young men who see this are never the same.  This could possibly be THE most disturbing and horrific DVD release reported on in 2006 (yes I know its only January 3rd - do YOU have any doubts?).  Click here to purchase it from Amazon.com

 OTHER DVD RELEASES THIS WEEK:

Terror Tales, Vol. 2 (2005)  get it here
Terror Tales, Vol. 3 (2005)  get it here
Fright Fest: Nightmare in a Box (2006)  get it here