Directed by:  Rubi Zack
Running Time:  88 minutes
Body Count:  0*

Watch the trailer (windows media)

Normally I dont feel comfortable critiquing movies in a genre that I love, because I dislike critics in general.  I hate the way they sit there in their chair and pick apart somebody's work of art - a story, which is rarely ever perfect - simply made to entertain somebody out there.  If anything, when relaying the worthiness of a movie to the public, I like to try and point out the redeeming qualities one might find, instead of picking at the holes and weaknesses the entire write-up.  Now comes Ring Around the Rosie - another straight-to-DVD release - and I'd love to tell you about it.  Only problem is, beyond the plot synopsis, there really isnt that much to tell.  Once the story is set up, it never advances - hovering like an experience waiting to happen, until and beyond the final credits.

In Ring Around the Rosie, "Karin (Gina Philips) drives out to the old family estate in order to clear out the property, as her dying grandmother has left her the summer home.  Her boyfriend, Jeff (Randall Batinkoff) accompanies her.  Upon arrival, the pair meet the mysterious caretaker Pierce (Tom Sizemore), who tends to the horses, and who is somehow involved in the dark secrets the house teems with, refusing to die without taking its inhabitants with them."  That's the plot.  What you watch seems to be a slightly different movie.

Off the top of my head, there seems to be two types of low budget films.  One is the poorly shot, poorly acted, grainy, straight-to-video deal - and sometimes films like this can shine, like Evil Dead, or Friday the 13th.  Then there is the professional looking, well acted film containing a star or two, finely polished, good lighting, good crew basically.  That's Ring Around the Rosie.  Only problem is, someone forgot the plot (and there are certainly only traces of gore or violence).  It ends up being a 88 minute build-up which has no climax or pay-off, and leaves you at the end going....  "OK.....?"

You know those films that start with a lot of blinking lights, and some woman panting and sweating looking around worried, scared a bit, panting and sweating, waking up from dreams - never sure why and seeking the answer throughout the movie?  That's Ring Around - except we don't ever really feel connected to the victim, know why anything is really happening, and the viewer waits the whole movie for an answer that really never takes place.  You can't tell if she's being haunted by her dead grandpa, if Sizemore is really there, really killing anyone...  the plot is a mess, and a hint at what it all might have meant occurs in the last 60 seconds.

Gina Philips ended up being eye candy more than anything else, and she has a gift at looking very scared and upset.  In fact it seemed hard for her character to look anything but.  Tom Sizemore, who has a reputation off the lens for being somewhat dangerous and unpredictable, translates that feeling across the screen - where you seem to almost hold back half a breath because you never know what this guy is gonna do.  Ring Around's failure is it just seems like youre watching the same sequence over and over - from the opening prologue to the end, Karin is hyperventlating, worried, and being saved from peril or shaking off some unwarranted scare.  After a while it becomes monotonous, and in the end we're not even completely sure why.

This movie could have been titled, "Miss Mary Mack Mack Mack, All Dressed In Black Black Black"  and still not have lost a step, because the only time the title is even referenced to is when Karin is reflecting back to childhood memories.  That is a key point to the plot, but barely, and the games they played had nothing to do with anything. 

* A bit of a semi-spoiler regarding the body count.  I usually don't like to include flashback or dream-sequence deaths in the toll, so for Ring Around the Rosie, the body count is zero.  Two people are murdered (its up to you to determine what's occuring and what's not), and a dead deer is found on the road - but other than that - nada.  I emplore thirsty horror fans to consider this before a blind purchase.

Final Analysis:  Ring Around the Rosie, a pocket full of posies.  Ashes, ashes, we all fall down!  What does that have to do with this film?  Your guess is as good as mine.

IMDB Listing

Buy Ring Around the Rosie on DVD at  Amazon.com